after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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