do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
