If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
