Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize