Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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