So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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