Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
