u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
