____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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