420 ftw
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
