And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize