Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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