That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
