Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
