Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
