Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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