No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
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