I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
