i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
