This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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