i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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