Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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