Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize