Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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