Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
