People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I love having hate sex.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
