I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
