I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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