The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
