Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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