I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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