my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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