How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize