TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
