I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
