I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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