I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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