I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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