just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
i out mim tonsoeep
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