Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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