His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
