don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
and you said cock pushups were impossible
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
