id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
