Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
