I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
