how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
