This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
