i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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