I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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