I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
two words: eviction party
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
