Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i would punch a child for taco bell
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
