My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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