Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
