I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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