Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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