i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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