he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
