Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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