Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
