it was like his penis was on wheels.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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