Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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