what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
