I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
