I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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