your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
