I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize