you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i need some magic done to my vagina
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
